Matthew Mario Di Pasquale · Opinions

I'm not perfect

Created
2022-09-14T21:13:41.058Z
Updated
2022-09-27T03:03:37.644Z

Psychologically speaking, humility is the acceptance of our imperfection. It does not prohibit self-expression.

—Robert J. Furey, So I'm Not Perfect, 1986

Self-assessment

I don't think I'm perfect. (I don't even think I'm perfectly imperfect, or imperfectly perfect.) I don't think I'm God. I don't think I'm the son of God. I don't even believe in God, as I say in my post Religion. I'm not always right. I fuck up all the time. This website isn't perfect. There're so many improvements and additions I want to make to it. Even this post isn't perfect.

I think I'm intelligent, but I don't think I'm the smartest person ever. I don't think my current opinions are perfect, and I even realize they may be bad, but I think they're good. Otherwise, I'd recant or update them, although some of my recorded opinions, including those on this website, may be old. I acknowledge that one or more, or perhaps all, of my opinions may be shit, egregiously wrong, or even harmful. That's one of the reasons for my post Don't take my advice.

Humility

In elementary school art class, one of my female classmates whom I liked named Erin (Or maybe it was another girl, since my memory isn't perfect either.) had made a beautiful piece of art. Several of us told her it was really good, but she said it wasn't. I think that happened more than once with her too. I noticed that some children, especially at that age, would often say their artworks weren't good, but often it seemed that they would just say that to lower others' expectations, to avoid criticism, or to fish for compliments. I guess I figured Erin was just insecure. But now I don't think so. Yes, she seemed reserved but not necessarily insecure. Now, I just think that her standards were way higher than most. Now, I no longer think it's always insecure to say that your work isn't good.

For example, let's imagine I were playing golf with Tiger Woods, and he hit the ball on the green right off the tee on a par 3. If I didn't know who Tiger was, I might think to myself, "Wow, what a nice shot!" But was it? If it's not in the hole or within 10 feet of the pin, then it probably wasn't, at least not for Tiger. Why? Because his standards are way higher than most, since he's so good. A bad shot for Tiger would likely be a good shot for me.

I suck at being humble, especially in real time. If I act humble, it might be because at least part of me (more subconsciously) wants to avoid criticism and sway people towards thinking good things about me, and thus tries not to build up others' expectations of me, but another part of me (more consciously) wants you to be my critic, so maybe I should stop acting so humble and start being honest. Perhaps being humble generally isn't good, since it's inherently dishonest. I guess humility is the opposite of arrogance, and both entail exaggeration. I always admired Bobby Fisher's confidence. He was a genius, in more than just chess.

Psychologically, you have to have confidence in yourself and this confidence should be based on fact.

—Bobby Fisher

Fame

We all have attributes, gears. All of us have attributes: whatever, balance, courage, skills. The most talented guy—One of the most talented guys I see in that list [of overcomers], he tells me that the most gifted guy he's ever seen, with all the gears, works at a gas station somewhere in rural wherever. Same with me. For 30 years, I travel around the world, and I meet thousands of kids. And they have everything it takes, in terms of the gearing. They have it. They have stuff I don't have, sometimes. I see it; I know it; that's one thing I do know. But the one thing that they don't have, to make those things happen, to be amongst [the overcomers], is the engine behind the gears.

—Rodney Mullen, On getting up again | Rodney Mullen | TEDxOrangeCoast, 17:02

Joe: I knew guys that never did stand up that were funnier than me, funnier than most of my friends.

Zachary: Yeah. I—I think most—My funniest friends are not actually, like, in entertainment like that.

Joe: Yeah.

Zachary: They're—They're these snipers, man. Like, every single day at any given moment, they're about to say something, something's about to come out of their mouth, and everyone's gonna be like, BAHHH! Like, you can't.

Joe: Yes!

Zachary: And they're not, like, you know—They're—

Joe: Regular people.

Zachary: Yeah.

Joe: That's why they're so funny.

Zachary: Yeah.

Joe: Because they're not trying to perform. They're just actually being themselves, which is funny, and they enjoy being funny.

The Joe Rogan Experience: #1845 - Zachary Levi, 10:47

I found that the men most in repute were all but the most foolish; and that some inferior men were really wiser and better.

—Socrates, the Apology of Socrates by Plato

Many of the most beautiful women I know aren't even models.

I don't know if I have "it", but if I do, I also want to be an "overcomer". I want to contribute, so I'm putting myself out there by sharing my opinions on this website. I want to be famous for being and doing good, for my contributions, not necessarily because I want fame, although I do. I think I'd like being famous. I like positive attention. But I'm trying, as the Bhagavad Gita advises, to focus only on contributing and the joy I get from that and not on recognition or other rewards.

Criticism

One scary thing is that if others (such as a judge, a jury of my peers, an angry person or mob, or those who made the laws) think I did something bad, I may be punished, even if I didn't do what they thought I did or even if what I did wasn't actually bad. Such punishment could take many forms, such as being verbally or physically abused or threatened, cancelled, expelled, fired, fined, assigned to do community service, ordered to home confinement, imprisoned, exiled, or even executed.

That's a reason that others' opinions of you and your words, actions, and works matter to you, unless you feel that your money, time, freedom, life, etc doesn't matter, or that it's worth risking those things to live your truth, a sort of social suicide.

Self-expression

I tend to act like a perfectionist, but no matter how hard I try to be perfect, I don't think I am. And I have a fear of criticism, but I'm expressing myself anyway, albeit from the comfort of my own home while hiding behind my computer screen, but I guess that's progress.

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